Saturday, September 30, 2017

Thinkers and Feelers: Decisions

Something I love about diving deeper into self awareness is this... adding framework to who I am helps me to quickly identify when I am behaving from an inauthentic, or learned, place. That doesn’t just mean the unconscious choices we make, but the conscious ones we make as well. At times we accept conditioning as truth.

Let’s take personality profiles like MBTI. We are familiar with introvert vs extrovert, sensing vs Intuition, feeling vs thinking, perceiving vs judging, so I’ll use these.

Did you know that stereotypes are the biggest culprits when it comes to personality conditioning? “I cry a lot, I must be a feeler.” “I am really OCD, I must be a judger.” “I don’t like people, I must be an introvert.”

^these are stereotypes, and they are misleading. Tonight I want to share about making decisions....

Thinkers and feelers alike have emotions (SURPRISE!) These words do not describe your depth of emotionality, they describe your decision making process. Empathy, sadness, disappointment, frustration, depression, etc are universal abilities and can be experienced by anyone.

In MBTI’s “Thinkers and Feelers” reflects how we sort and use information for decision making purposes. Do you lead with logic, or your gut? Another sign of conditioning is having a habit of poor decision making, or rarely seeing desired results. This can also indicate that you are making decisions through an unnatural function. As a feeler, if I tried leading with logic I would miss organic opportunities right and left... I wouldn’t take healthy risk. If I was a thinker and I led with my gut, I would overlook or minimize possible hazards or obstacles.

For those of us who live in reality where we are expected to exercise our learned skills; like exercising logic as a feeler, or maturing your spontaneity/gut as a thinker... it can feel blurry trying to determine which function is your dominant function. That’s where sitting down with someone who can ask you some targeted questions may help determine what’s authentic and what’s learned.

For some individuals it’s enough to accept that sometimes we operate in an unnatural function, and they are at peace though they aren’t sure which one is learned and which one is natural. So this isn’t really for those people. Digging deeper into how you function at your core may help you figure out why you struggle in your relationships, or work. It may help you figure out why you struggle to make lifestyle changes, or break habits. It may shed light on why you are that “emotional,” or  “cold,” or “dramatic,” or “harsh” person that stereotypes have labeled you to be.... it might just be the start you have been looking for.