Your Birth and Why I Offer So Many Options

"Your Birth and Why I Offer So Many Options"

What if I told you that you could prepare for your upcoming birth, IN your pajamas, using current, comprehensive, unbiased information? What if you could hand pick your class schedule with a certified, experienced and upbeat childbirth educator? What if I told you that this isn't crazy talk, it's real and it's available right now!?
 
Tab Moura Birth Services is now offering Online Interactive Childbirth Preparation courses! With flexible scheduling and payment plans available, I cannot imagine a more personalized experience! 
 
Class at home sounds great, but why should we pick Your Birth Experience?
Why choose Your Birth Experience? It's unbiased, meaning it tells it like it is. Are you planning for an epidural? C section? Natural hospital birth? Home birth? Birth Center? This curriculum presents the facts about childbirth, how your body works and prepares you for the unique birth experience awaiting you. We walk you through a vision building process to help you mentally prepare for any outcome, knowing that having a plan 'B', 'C', and even 'D' are sometimes necessary, but they don't have to define your experience. 

I have had a child before, how can YBE benefit me?
In short, YBE works for newbies AND veterans. Some parents enjoy having a refresher course. Others may plan to birth differently the second time; hearing the birth basics is a lot like birthing for the first time because your goals are different. Even if your plan is exactly the same as before, this curriculum can be utilized to help you have a more empowering or enjoyable experience the second time around.

Why create a birth plan? It's all out of my control anyway.
In a word? Preparation. Even if you agree entirely with the routine procedures your hospital uses, what is your plan B? Will you let them make those decisions as well? (what are those options anyway?) Then write it in your plan. Or do you want to know the options in advance so you can tailor your experience and confidently navigate your first "official" decisions as this child's parents? Whatever you choose, I guarantee you a nurse or Dr will ask you to make a decision at some point and labor is not a pleasant time to assess your options for the first time.
 
Is it time to contact me for a free consultation? I can meet in person, chat on the phone, FaceTime/Skype, or send information in the mail.

Why am I so flexible? Why is YBE so flexible? Because this experience is YOURS and we can't wait to begin preparing you for the birth experience you deserve!
Tab Moura Birth Services can be found on Facebook and online.,
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When we welcomed Reia

THE STORY:
I am what's considered a "survivor" when I gave birth (Book) I won't go into much detail about this, only to be vulnerable and explain that sexual trauma has influenced my journey as a mother in a profound way. My first birth was a difficult experience, followed by months of postpartum depression. The day we learned we were expecting our second child, I was honestly a bit anxious. However over time I sought support and committed to make this pregnancy the healthiest experience it could possibly be, physically and emotionally. I wanted to combat my fear of "what if?" and let's just say, I had an incredible pregnancy. We chose to birth at home, we found a great midwife Rebecca, I had a mother blessing, I invested in essential oils, I filled my life with great music... It was incredible.

Around 36-weeks I was swimming with my 41-weeks-pregnant sister and my 2 year old daughter, when my 2 year old decided to sprint around the pool toward the deep end. I instinctually pulled myself out of the pool to get to her, quickly realizing that I hyper extended my round ligaments while doing so. I began contracting. A warm bath and essential oils calmed things down, but from 36 weeks until 40 weeks, I suffered from prodromal labor due to ligaments that were hyperextended, a pubic bone that had shifted and my pelvis had tilted backward. I know this because I eventually saw Dr Zimmerman who specializes in prenatal chiropractic health. Thanks to her work, I found relief from my prodromal labor and was set up to have a healthy delivery! *i cannot imagine the labor/birth I would have had were it not for her expertise!*

The birth:

The night before my water broke we were with my parents and brother's family, grilling out. We decided to go for a walk after dinner and see if maybe we could get my 41-week-baby to commit and finally come on out. Nothing really happened that night, I noticed my contractions were evenly spaced, 15 mins apart, but that wasn't close enough to alert everyone around me. We went home, I mentioned to Jason that i could tell these were real contractions, but we were a long way from true labor. He nodded politely, knowing my oldest child sent very similar contractions for a whole 24 hrs before she was born. He was cool and collected, knowing I would keep up my over-sharing and he wouldn't miss a thing.
The next morning I was up, sent Jason off to work his half-day shift, Gemma was up with the sun and wanted to play. I did laundry, made a pizza, colored and cleaned... Around 11am I told Jason "We are definitely having a baby today... No rush, just prepare yourself... I'm still not telling our parents yet in case I'm wrong." (I was 41 weeks pregnant, he knew the drill, I told him everything... So these frequent updates were just for my peace of mind and he knew it, bless my heart.)

Around noon my dad called, just wanting to chat... I thought to myself "oh no... I don't remember how to have small talk!" I tried to hold a conversation during a few contractions, but I just couldn't stay focused, so I wrapped it up and went back to eating my pizza *mmmm*. Jason got home between 12:30 and 1, I was happy to see him, we needed to get the birth stuff together! By this time I was contracting every 7-10mins.

I had meditated for 9 months on a water birth, using the song Oceans by Hillsong United (Song). We decorated the nursery with an ocean theme, It was amazing and very effective. My oldest, Gemma wouldn't nap in her bed that day, so we cuddled on the couch and we both fell asleep. This was an incredibly rare occurrence, so I was once again affirmed that this was true labor, as a calming gravity seemed to draw Jason, Gemma and I together.

Around 4pm I felt a contraction and a pop, as the baby dropped lower. I noticed a little extra fluid, but It didn't even fill my pad, so I wasn't confident that my water had broken.  I messaged my midwives to get their opinion, they had me take an amnio test from my birth kit to see if my water had broken. Yep! Tested positive! Turns out not everyone's water breaks in a giant gush! I went back to resting on the couch, I nursed Gemma through one contraction, knowing we would have my parents come get her soon. Breastfeeding triggered very strong contractions so I messaged for my parents to come pick her up ASAP. While waiting for them I slowly walked and grabbed some items Gemma would need for her FIRST sleep over (ever). I was growing emotional, wishing I could prepare her better, but I was quite distracted by the contractions at this point. Jason was still playing XBox when they arrived to pick her up around 4:30pm. We both expected this to be like my first birth, at this rate we have 12 more hours... So not in a hurry. I hadn't updated him in about 20 minutes, so he had no clue that things were serious enough that I had asked my parents to come.

(This is a nice place to explain that the cervix isn't a crystal ball, things can change quickly In labor, no two births are a like, etc...)

I felt most comfortable in the bathroom sitting on the toilet, so I stayed in there for a while by myself. I felt that things were getting serious so I messaged my midwives around 5pm, telling them it was time to come for support and delivery. I then moved to kneeling at my bed.

I just have to say, I am extremely proud of myself and my focus through some pretty intense and quick contractions. I breathed into my contractions and relaxed various parts of my body as I envisioned melting through the floor. As a birth Doula myself, I "doula'd" myself and tried to identify how far I had to go between my contractions, an effort to conserve my energy. In the midst of each contraction my heart was fully present to "open" and welcome our little one. As things intensified I began chanting OPEN.

Around 5:30pm my first midwife arrived and began monitoring baby and helping me breathe through contractions. Jason was on the phone with my sister in law/ photographer, trying to discuss with ME if I felt this was baby time. I couldn't answer, so my midwife politely told him "she's getting pretty serious, I would have her head this way." Between 5:30 and 6pm, two other midwives arrived and began inflating our birth tub immediately. I tried side lying for a few moments. They were about to check my cervix for dilation around 6pm, but the baby wouldn't have it so I asked for help to go to the bathroom to pee (yes, you heard me, not poop, PEE.) 

On my way from my bed to the bathroom (4 feet away) I began feeling the urge to push. They encouraged me to try and wait (you know, so they could stop trying to set up the birth tub and put a tarp down to deliver a baby in my bed room instead!) But I couldn't. This was just after 6pm, my photographer came in at this point. While holding on around Jason's neck, I stood in my half bathroom and delivered our daughter, catching her myself. I am very thankful I made it to the tile, because as it turns out, about 90% of my amniotic fluid was still in my uterus at the time that I delivered my daughter, making quite a splash as she came out! It was such a whirlwind, such a beautiful, heavenly whirlwind. I didn't get the water birth I had dreamed of and prepared for, but because my focus was on my meditation, rather than the details, my experience was perfect. It was empowering and messy and memorable and exciting and profoundly healing.

Reia Kaye Cordelia made her appearance at 41 weeks and 1 day. Arriving at 6:14pm on August 14th, weighing 9lbs and 21 3/4" long. I was officially in active labor for 2 hours and 14 minutes and loved every minute of it. To read my about my journey during my pregnancy meditations on Oceans, visit my blog

Photos by Angelyn Moura Photography @ http://angelynmouraphotography.com/photographer/

Pregnancy and Childbirth through the Eyes of a Three Year Old

There are many things I have been passionate about in my life. From an early age, I knew that feeling of deep, unadulterated, unconditional excitement... and I knew it well. When I was 3 years old I became a big sister. During my mom's pregnancy, I made some very educated deductions. I'm happy to say that these deductions are NOT the extent of my child birth education!!! These things are so fun to think back on now as a birth Doula, child birth educator and as a mother.

So, here they are...


Pregnancy and Childbirth through the Eyes of a Three Year Old

1.) "Pregnancy makes women cut off all of their hair."
This was true in my eyes. My mom was due with a July baby and we lived in southern Louisiana... throw in a few hormones and four very energetic home schooled children and you begin to understand what ACTUALLY led to this style choice. But nonetheless, my little world believed this to be fact.
Side-note: Believe it or not, many women report having a skin crawling feeling while pregnant and postpartum. I experienced this during my whole first pregnancy and now again postpartum with my second. It was bad enough during my first pregnancy that I actually DID get a pixie cut!

2.) "Pregnant women have crazy beautiful finger nails and they like to paint them bright colors."
I don't even know how often my mom painted her finger nails, I just have a few vivid memories of admiring her long, thick, bright red finger nails (they complimented her pixie cut very nicely) and thinking "that'll be me someday!" I still find this fascinating, how freaky beautiful a woman's fingernails can become during pregnancy. Thank you, Prenatals!

3.) "Boy-girl-boy-girl-etc..."
When my mom was expecting her 6th baby, I learned about "the pattern". Girl-boy-girl-boy-girl... so our family joked that this last baby would be a boy! Except, 3 year old, passionate, and take-you-literally Tab took this as fact. I told all of my friends, I say it in all of our home videos... "My mommy is having a baby boy!" Guess what?? I have a baby sister.
Among the many other wives tales out there... which are fun games to play and some of them seem to be fairly accurate... they are still 50% accurate, guys. Hang in there! And praise the Lord for ultrasounds when we just can't wait any longer to know if it's a he or a she!

4.) "Pregnant women don't change at all."
I believe it was probably a month before my sister arrived, I still hadn't noticed that my mom's stomach had grown. It happens so subtly I suppose. I followed her into the garage on one of her nesting energy surges and asked her to put on her wedding dress that we found. My mom has always been rather fit in my eyes, but at 8 months pregnant there was no chance in heck that she would fit into her customized wedding gown that she weighed 105lbs in when she wore it last. My mom just laughed... I didn't get it. Pregnancy is full of physical changes!

5.) "Moms just go to the hospital and come home with babies!"
The day my sister was born, I was upset about two things... "That's not a brother..." and "Why can't I take home my baby!?" I know, I've always been this complicated... Walking into mom's recovery room I distinctly remember the lights on the walls, thinking "this is a weird hotel" and wanting mom and the baby to come home with us. Once our visit was over, we loaded up our van full of children and went home... but not before I screamed "I WANT MY BABY!!!" alllllll the way down the hallway of the hospital. I was still crying about it as we got home and went to bed.
Truth is, it was drama like that that probably reassured my mom that she could use that over-night stay in the hospital! Moms have such a big roll in the family! You think making babies IN their bodies is pretty epic? You think caring for a house, kid(s), pets, etc... is a big deal? Many moms do this more than one time! That means recovering from a major experience like birth, WHILE momming. This is so incredibly inspiring to me! AND I AM ONE! So so incredible to me.

I get so nostalgic writing out these thoughts by three year old Tab... and now that I have two children of my own, I am so intrigued to see what their memories will hold someday. As a birth professional, I can only imagine what they will absorb and the stories they will tell someday... but you know what? I can't wait to hear it!

Oceans

If you have read my other blogs, you know that I have been writing a series focusing on the song by Hillsong United, called Oceans. It didn't occur to me until today that "Oceans" is plural. I chuckled to myself as I made a host of new connections immediately following. When I hear that word with this realization, it takes on new meaning. An ocean, singular, is unique. It's a new adventure. It has new challenges. Even visiting the same ocean twice will feel different... because we are different. Maybe we have aged, we have overcome these waves before, so we may spend more time contemplating the sand or observing the horizon. So when I hear the word oceans, pluralized, I hear something huge. But I will come back to this shortly.

The last 6 weeks have been... wow. Since the last time I wrote to you all, I am just amazed at how much life has transpired. We welcomed a beautiful baby girl on August 14th, after 4 weeks of what would be considered "early labor" contractions and long nights. I spent a lot of time trying to pace myself, rest and soak up my life as I knew it. 

I was blessed to have my mom stay with us to help make the transition easier and entertain our sweet Gemma when I was 41 weeks along and READY to have a baby. You see, I have had a baby before... Been to that "ocean", got a great souvenir :-). However, I also came away a little wounded. Over the course of my pregnancy I made MANY conscious (and sometimes uncomfortable) choices with the goal of having a healthier and more positive birth experience this second pregnancy. I know that nothing I did could guarantee that I would have the birth that I wanted, which is why I focused on taking care of the "scars" from our first birth and investing in a healthy mom and baby (as far as it depended on me.) The rest I gave to God. I have visited this ocean before, but it was a different season... I had a new pair of eyes this time and a knowledge of how vitally a healthy birth AND positive experience would play into my long term health.

Reia weighed 9lbs even and was born in a record 2 hrs of true labor. She was born at home (insert Jim Gaffigan joke here) and I was blessed to be able to "catch" her myself. Everything I knew about this ocean was old news... This was a whole new experience. It was beautiful and healing.

This is where the true revelation about the word "Oceans" came about. Moments after Reia was born I attempted to nurse her for the first time, only to realize she had trouble latching on, upon examining her mouth our midwife realized this was due to lip and tongue "ties." My heart sank a little. You see, this too is an "ocean" I have experienced before. Breastfeeding was increasingly more painful and within two days I experienced bleeding. We were using all the tools in our tool box to deal with this... Just two years ago we dealt with Gemma's lip and tongue ties and similar issues that followed. To put this in analogy terms: These waves SUCKED, the sand was stuck between my toes, I wasn't wearing enough sunscreen and I got stung by a jelly fish... this ocean was not an ocean I wanted to visit again. 

"Your grace abounds in deepest waters. Your sovereign hand will be my guide. Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You've never failed and You won't start now!"

These oceans aren't puddles. They aren't piddly little lakes, guys. These are mountains of water. These are familiar, but never predictable.

As I observed the ocean ahead of me, noticing that Reia's ties were definitely going to be an issue, I became emotional. The first time we were in this place, we didn't know what was coming. We didn't know it would mean gallons of tears from myself and Gemma. We didn't know that people wouldn't understand and would diminish our experience. This time, I could see the waves for what they are... I felt the hot sun, I remembered the strong current. I didn't want to be here again... but I WAS here. And I AM here. This ocean is the same, but wisdom and experience (and PLENTY of help) is helping me to navigate these waters for the second time.

Some oceans are intense, challenging and exhausting... but some are incredible and exciting adventures. Having two beautiful gifts from God to call my own is proving to be an extremely magnificent adventure. Between the tantrums and dirty diapers, nap schedules and snacks, laugh attacks and lullabies, night time prayers and morning kisses... the ocean I am in right now is worth the work. Most importantly, I am worth the work.

This life of mine is a gift. The many oceans I have seen, touched, endured, surfed and dog-paddled in... they are my life... and the secret to truly enjoying a life full of oceans is simple...

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior"

The Great Unknown

Hey friends!

This may very well be the last blog post I write before our second child arrives. I'm due anyday now! 

My heart feels calm.

I am not talking about "prepared," though arguably we are quite prepared as we have had two children before. The calm that I feel is because I don't know what is on the horizon and I find that exciting. I have never met this little person before. I don't know what they look like or how they smell. I don't know if they will sleep all the time or keep us up at all hours, breaking glass with their screaming. I don't know if they will be perfectly healthy or have their struggles. 

I don't know. 

But that is beautiful to me. It makes me feel closer to God. Because HE does know.

I think back on the 26 years of life that I have lived. I have memories from when I was 3, awaiting my baby sister. I knew mom's belly had grown, but I had no idea that she would soon give birth to my competition 😉. I definitely didn't know that she would give birth to an incredible person that (with time) I grew to appreciate and now love, 23 years later. 

I had no idea that being the 4th of 5 children would mean that I rarely spent time alone and rarely wore brand new clothing. I had no idea that these things would just create a stronger bond between myself and my siblings as we are unafraid of sharing our hearts and lives with each other. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I had no idea that our crazy, busy household would fill me with so much compassion for those who are in need of family. 

I didn't know!

I had no idea that my freshman year of college would be one of the hardest things I've ever done and one of the loneliest years of my life. I didn't know that I didn't know who I was... And that was horrifying, but was exactly what I needed.

People. I didn't know.

I feel calm because I may not be in control of the future, but I am in control of how I look at it. I set the boundaries today that become paths tomorrow. My perception is on a leash, I can make the most of what comes... Even if what comes SUCKS. 

The great unknown is terrifying and exciting. It's wild and mysterious. It will be hard and kick my butt sometimes, it will stretch me and grow me and scare the hell out of me... But when I think back on where I have come from, I feel calm knowing it's always been out of my hands. 

That's the true secret to feeling peaceful: Being wise enough to know I cannot control ____. But being brave enough to live knowing that ____ can only control me if I let it. 

This week that blank is "becoming a mother of a second child"... Next week it may be something else. 

Get used to being in the unknown. That's where God really works His magic.

Have you listened to Oceans, by Hillsong United recently? This is the second-to-last post in my series of blogs inspired by this song. Take a listen, listen with your heart!

http://youtu.be/DGRz2BJQRXU